


In No Time

by Creazy



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, breakdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4398323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creazy/pseuds/Creazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post explosion and everything is out now and people are dead because of him. Robert is past due for a breakdown, but what he didn't expect was that someone would care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In No Time

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The Night Shift scene from Season 1 where TC breaks down. WARNING: Several main characters died in the explosion.

He sat alone on a bench. He couldn't get over the fact of what he had become. He had never meant for it to go this far. Innocent people had died because of his stupid mistakes. He knew he wasn't the one who had started that explosion, but he also knew it was meant for him. Robert's mind was whirring with the memories of the explosion. He had barely escaped, and now he was sat thinking that he wishes he hadn't. He wishes that the explosion would have taken him instead of the innocent people. Not just innocent people though, Diane, his wonderful stepmother who loved him even at his worst. He would never forgive himself for that. He would never forgive himself for putting the people he loved and cared about in danger. What Robert couldn't understand is why, even though he hated it, he continued to hurt the people he loved. Even when he felt like he was choosing the right path, he ended up hurting people. It was his fault and he knew it. He was the reason they were dead and he couldn't stop replaying it in his mind. 

Aaron walked down the street, hands in his pockets, trying not to admit to noticing Robert sitting on a bench nearby. He was so tired of Robert's bullshit and he couldn't handle any more awful surprises so he tried to ignore him. However, that proved harder than expected. Aaron knew something was off with him. He was slumped over, eyes red and puffy, but to Aaron's surprise he couldn't find any source of alcohol. His heart dropped because as much as he hated the man he also deep down couldn't let him sit there alone. He needed to own up to what he had done at least. After pausing for a moment to contemplate he changed course and moved to help. 

"You alright?" Aaron said making his way toward Robert.   
Robert didn't even look up from where he was staring at the ground. He was lost in a train of thought which he didn't want to break because if he broke it reality would come crashing back in at an alarming rate. One that he felt would likely drown him.   
"Come on." Aaron said gently moving to help him up. He was stunned by the fact that Robert didn't smell at all of alcohol. The only times Aaron had ever seen Robert in such a state was when he was drunk. 

They slowly made their way back to the pub and Aaron moved to walk into the living area to the couch but Robert froze. He couldn't go in there. He couldn't face his step mum's decorating and the smell of her. He couldn't do it. His chest began to tighten and he felt like he was suffocating. Robert stumbled back against the wall and quickly slid down to the stairs. 

"What's going on?" Aaron asked genuinely curious about why the infamous suave and confident Robert Sugden was now sat on the stairs looking as though he was about to have a panic attack. It took only a moment to see the pain in Robert's eyes and Aaron could feel his guard falling. He had always continued to care about Robert even through everything that happened, and seeing his eyes stricken with so much panic tore at his heart. 

Robert couldn't look at Aaron again. It reminded him too much of all the things he had done wrong. All of the things that added up to the death of one of the only people who loved him unconditionally and saw through his thick facade. Now he had no one and he couldn't handle it. 

Aaron slowly lowered himself to a kneeling position on the floor in front of the stairs. "Robert, you don't have to talk to me, but you can't sit here forever." He said in a hushed tone as if he was talking to a child. 

Robert was in his own world at that moment. He was staring at a vague point on the floor and thinking about his life. "It's my fault." He choked.

"What's your fault?" Aaron started, now moving to a more comfortable position. 

"Everything. Everything is my fault." He whispered and tears began to fall. 

Aaron had never seen Robert Sugden show weakness let alone cry. He was in shock and he wasn't quite sure what to do.

"What do you mean, Robert?" Aaron coaxed gently trying not to startle him in his obviously fragile state.

Robert looked up and allowed himself to make eye contact for the first time in minutes. He didn't feel anything though. Everything felt like a dream. A nightmare, really. 

"She's dead and it's because of me." Robert's voice was cracking as tears started falling faster, trailing down his cheeks and pooling near his lips. 

"Robert...there is nothing you can do about Katie-"

"That's not what I'm talking about." Robert cut him off with a strange smile that told Aaron that he was completely clueless about what was going on in the blond man's head.

Robert continued, "I'm talking about Diane. She's dead because of me. Rhona is dead because of me. Laurel...it's my fault. That's what I'm talking about." He then began to breathe heavier and let out a sob.

Aaron sat in awe. He didn't understand what Robert was talking about and a part deep inside him didn't want to know, but the part that left him the most confused was seeing the stone cold killer break down.

"Robert," He said grabbing his hands to try and force his attention. "they said it was a gas leak. They said the stove was the combustion source. What are you talking about?" 

"Lachlan threatened me. I knew he wanted me dead. I just thought he'd come after me alone. He would never have done it if I hadn't-"

"Robert. You can't blame yourself for what he did. It is not your fault that he is insane, he's not even your kid." Aaron tried to keep a calm voice but faltered a bit due to anger.

"It's my fault. I knew that he was targeting me and I didn't warn anyone. I didn't even take him seriously. I am selfish. I should have died in that blast. I should have just given him what he wanted."

"No, Robert, no. Look at me. You don't even know he had anything to do with it."

"He did. He must have. It's my fault. I shouldn't have escaped. I should have stayed. I should have helped people. I'm a coward. It's all my fault. I should have died with them. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Aaron's heart sank as he watched the man wither away in front of him. He didn't know what else to do. Robert had begun shaking and at this point nothing he could say would be enough to help him. He just had to help him get through this moment. That's all he knew how to do. So he stood up and moved to sit beside Robert on the stairs and he gently pulled him into an embrace. It took seconds before Robert collapsed into him sobbing. He had never seen Robert like this, and he hoped he never would again. Aaron ran his fingers through Robert's hair and quietly reminded him that it was okay. It was all going to be okay. No matter how many times he repeated himself he was met with sobs of "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." from Robert and he slowly pulled him in even tighter. He could get through this, Aaron would make sure of it.

 


End file.
